Thursday, February 27, 2014

A Deer in the Headlights!

Yikes, suddenly more people are viewing my cartoons than the population of Cần Giờ. Gulp.

Well, hello everyone! Most people know me from my facebook page, which is titled Mallowman. So you may be wondering, "What is Mallowman?"

When I created the Mallowman facebook page, I was still working on the fringe of the dying animation industry, trying to invent an Animation Blog. This video pretty much describes it:



But then this happened:



And then, I made cartoons based on my interactions with other Western Husbands with Vietnamese Wives (yes, there are clubs) which eventually became a book.

But I couldn't stop there, so I have been putting up cartoons on this blog ever since. They are made for a very specific audience so no doubt misunderstandings will happen. Still, remember that I love my wife, Vietnamese and Vietnam, in some ways more than my own culture, and I hope you have fun and enjoy.

Your new friend, DAvid

 

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

An Oldie

Hello, Another side of Vietnam facebook page! I asked and you graciously answered; you offered your own anecdotes; you said very nice things about the cartoons and gave me some advice about publishing. Thank you! Except for my very first response, which was this:

Charlie Grayhurst's photo. 

Just the photo, not even a comment. I mean, what the hell is that? It was a pretty well received post, and this is how you start it off? And only five seconds after I posted it? What the hell is wrong with you? I mean, I can take criticism pretty well, but this is, this is like...sheesh, when you're not on facebook, what the hell are you doing, kicking puppies and eating babies? Maybe it's better that you have this outlet where you can do crappy stuff to people without consequences? AND your profile pic is of you posing as Jesus or something? Man, that is...

Anyway, I'm very glad I found this group, always something cool going on, keep up the good work but maybe less postings about lamborghinis in Vietnam, they make me sad. Except for the ones that were earned by buying lottery tickets from the old and disabled, that would be ok.

Too Much of a Good Thing...

Seriously though, it is cute for a while, but sometimes I drag myself to work looking like I just lost a fight with a chain gang, and with actual chains. She tosses and turns a lot. She'll lie diagonally across the bed, and her dead weight can be surprisingly heavy. I'll also get the occasional tiny but sharp elbow in the eye. And somehow, even in her sleep, she'll pull my arms and wear me like a backpack. Tiny and frail during the day, but with zombie strength at night!

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

You can get anything she wants at Jenny's Restaurant

THIS IS WHY WE DON'T OPEN UP A RESTAURANT, PEOPLE!

Jenny does not follow the recipe. Jenny does not do anything she doesn't want to do, and sometimes she doesn't want to cook at all. Which is a shame, because all of her fans know what an amazing cook she is. It's a miracle really--she never cooked until she came to the US. Rather than accept steak and potatoes, she recreated Vietnamese dishes--things you can't even get in restaurants in New York--and made up plenty of her own stuff. She SHOULD open up a restaurant, or at least consult or get a little booth at the farmers market. But, we all know how that would end up :)

Saturday, February 15, 2014

I H8 Valentines Day

Remember a few posts back about buying her stuff? Well, some holidays I can't bear not getting her something. In Vietnam, I spent a whole day riding around to find a good deal on flowers, chocolates and even balloons. Well, the flowers were too expensive (of course!), the balloons were for children, and the chocolates...well, at least we ate those.

We just don't need "canned romance." Any time we are supposed to enjoy our company, especially holidays and vacations, we can't force ourselves to have a good time. Otherwise we are completely content. Hallmark, go f*** yourself.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

...But you can't take the Vietnam out of the girl.

 
One reason to come back home was to finally be somewhere without the chick-in-eggs. And a horrible herb that, as far as I know, has no English name and can totally destroy any meal. Well, I was wrong on both accounts. You really can get absolutely anything in Chinatown, the animal-rights groups gave up long ago.