We're privileged, but that came with a price.
Sunday, May 24, 2015
Wednesday, May 20, 2015
What makes our Vietnamese couples meetings so awkward is that we husbands look at each other and think "poor bastard, he's got yellow fever." I especially never thought of myself as preferring Asians - after all, I'd serial dated every nationality imaginable, really saw myself with someone with a similar culture (really, a lack of culture), and happened to hit the jackpot with a Vietnamese woman. Now that I'm happily married with baby, never to date ever again, there doesn't seem to be much point in saying I have a preference for Asians.
But then there's the benefit of hindsight. And I got facebook-spammed an article that unwittingly pinpoints exactly how Western women are absolutely insane.
Exhibit A: they tattoo labels for men that don't rub off. Nice guys are either "pleasers" or "needy men," and no one wants that.
Exhibit B: they need men to be decisive. Me, I'm cursed with being able to eat any type of restaurant any time and be happy. But the woman wants me to make the decision, er, guess which restaurant she wants to go to. The odds say I will guess wrong and she will punish me by sulking the whole night.
Exhibit C: they don't want to be needed: a nice guy is "standing there with an empty bucket." Which shows how the Western dating process is assed-backwards. A nice guy does not necessarily "need" a particular women, a nice guy needs "love" (wow, someone should write a song about that one). So a nice guy who's out dating is missing something, yes, that's why he is dating--so he can stop dating and move onto the good stuff that no one in this county looks forward to. Only then will he have a "full bucket," and instead of relying on an unfortunate other, the couple will adapt and change with each other. If the changes are bad, they should probably break up eventually. If good, then in this country they are a very rare couple indeed--but getting a nice guy will improve the odds for a woman.
But no, it seems that women expect to see full-fledged bullshit on a date--it's the only thing that is worth her while. And then they are surprised when the bullshit eventually wears off.
Well, Asian women look for something different when they date Western men. Looking around at my comrades, I can't help thinking that here is a system that works, or at least works better, for guys like us.